I often wonder how much mum knows what I'm up too as I've made in clear that I don't tell her anything that I think might worry her and following a chat with a friend earlier this week I'm starting to wonder if I've missed all the tell tale signs and have been telling her more than I realise.

It all centres around lovely sponge cake.

So I'm led to believe that whenever I hint to my mum about any friend who I've invited round for dinner or I'm meeting for lunch, quite innocently I should add, mum would often ask . . "would you like me to make you something, like a sponge?"

Sometimes I would say yes . . because that would be nice afterall. I mean it's cake, who would turn down cake !

In more recent times I've been saying no and I'm making them myself.

What I'm told and extremely baffled by is apparantely when I'm saying "yes I want sponge" mum knows that I'm being a very good boy and all is well.

It's when I'm saying no, or I'll make my own that I'm telling her something along the lines of . . I'm going to be or am wanting to have sex with her.

I am baffled by this but have been told with some authority and with supporting proof that this is the case ???

I know some of you are mums . . is this some secret code that after 35 years I've only just been told that relates to just mums ?!?!

I'm now wondering about what others things I've told my mum without knowing I've told her !!

I mean I turned down a butterfly bun the other day . . what does that mean ??

:))